I can’t remember what day of the week I woke up in our new home about 135 miles away on a country road in the middle of nowhere, thinking holy crap I can’t believe this is really happening. We went from an awesome raised ranch style home to a small one bedroom duplex with no cable TV. Yeah that’s right no cable. I think it was about two or three weeks before we got a phone. Now think about this for a minute my friends didn’t even know I was gone.  I think for the most part my brother, my grandma on my dad’s side, or dad didn’t even know if we were alive or still in the state of  Pennsylvania.  We were in a hideaway secluded from the rest of the world, except for the unknown people in the small village located in the southern tier of  New York. I’m pretty surprised my Grandma on my mom’s side even knew. I remember wanting to call my dad and I couldn’t, because we still didn’t have a phone and it seemed like forever before we got one. Plus I was 11 at the time and loved to talk on the phone. I remember the sadness, as I felt like I had lost so much; even my toys were still at my dads. 

   things to the regular kids on the bus… After a few months in that village, we moved to a new village where my grandma lived about a mile away from her, this was so she could look after us, as we had nothing except for a stationSomehow through all this it was a peaceful month, no fighting or being scared of what was going to happen next. I found ways to keep busy, playing in the barn, or in the fields around our apartment.  Not telling anyone where we were was my mom’s coping strategy for the hurt and anger she was experiencing and just plan being tired from all the stress of losing what she had worked for the last 26 yrs. She slept for almost a month waking up ready to move on. She got me a kitten which helped to take the focus off what was going on.

Starting a new school was really tough at first, it was hard explaining to everyone what had happened with my parents and that not very many people knew where we living. I didn’t make a lot of friends in school. To top it off most of the kids on my bus were Amish and said weird wagon and a trailer. The rest of the family knew our whereabouts now.  My dad froze all of the accounts. They were to be untouched until the divorce was finalized. My mom basically had the stuff that we moved the first day and that was it. We didn’t have money for school clothes, new shoes, and even specialty foods. She had to start over in a new state, with a new job and make a living that would support both of us. My grandma helped out as much as she could, with laundry and cooking. I Started a new school mid year, mid month and I was now the 6^th grade. I remember everything about that school; I actually liked it and made friends within a month or so, which helped to me to deal with the stress of what I was going through.

With so much unexpected change in such a short period of time, I feel that distorted my perception of life forever, about men, relationships, and I knew then that I never wanted to go through that or put my family through it again. In 1989 divorce was just starting to become main stream, so kids really didn’t have a clue what to expect or what to say to other people. Not that it’s any easier now, but I think it’s more expectable to the majority of people, which is also very saddening to think about.

4 Responses to “Part 2: Moving out to nowhere!”

1. grammolo on January 2nd, 2008 at 6:24 pm

   Linda Davis from Grammology

   Hi Amy, I’ve been reading your series and it is very powerful…AND helpful. Thank you for sharing it with all of us. You write with honesty and bravery in sharing your life experience. I am seeing so much strength through your pain….you went through such sadness and upheaval, so much fear and loss…and HERE YOU ARE telling your story, helping others. You are resilient and able to cope