My grand daughter Mary and I talked about her future today, she’s at a crossroads. She doesn’t know if she should go to school or get a job. During high school she took cosmetology. At first Mary was pleased with it but eventually she didn’t feel a passion for what she was doing, and she knew it was time to move on. She’s forced to reconsider her options and evaluate her life. We talked about hairstyling and she knows it’s always there to fall back on if needed. However, Mary admitted not knowing what she would do with her future was a huge source of anxiety and fear. It’s important to make sure your children have someone they love, trust and respect to discuss their thoughts with. Someone who won’t judge, who will listen and be part of the roadmap to their destination; the career they’ll consider for the rest of their lives. More important be prepared for the wrong turns and detours on the way. This process for some is not easy and whoever is helping should be patient and understanding for some there is more not known then understood as to what they want to do. However, if you give them an opportunity to look and check things out the results could be amazing. When Mary is done she may have found work which will be fulfilling and easy to go to everyday. If she’s lucky we can make her job one of her passions.

I asked Mary what felt better, the thought of going to school or getting a job and beginning a career. Whichever she chooses she has to look into her heart and try to feel what will motivate her to get up in the morning and follow the same routine every single day. I speak to so many people who despise their jobs. It’s a jail that they go to every day of their lives suggesting your job or career decisions will impact your happiness and your future. So as we continued probing I asked her not to move quickly, think about what you want, be honest and true to you and even if it takes a few times don’t give up, and don’t be discouraged. Mary is young and will never know what career will be satisfying unless she tries. As Mary and I continued to talk, I assured her that she had the support of our family to run feelings by. It’s important to get it right and because we are a diverse family she has a lot of choices she can choose from. We’re here as a family to help her find her true path and assist her as she makes choices.

What Mary is going through is not unique to most students and young adults today. We choose a profession so we are able to earn a living, which allows us to acquire and experience all the things life has to offer. Rarely do people think about planning an occupation. Sometimes they get their jobs by accident and their working where there is no passion at all. So take time to see what motivates and inspires your child and see how it relates to something they can do. Whether it’s writing, where you might consider journalism; drama, where you might think about becoming an actor; or you may enjoy numbers and you may want to become an accountant. It doesn’t matter because you can do whatever you want, its’ your life.

What’s sad is when you don’t take the time to see what really motivates you and your career is less then satisfying. I know there’s help for students while going to school. Counselors can help them learn what’s out there in the fields they show interest or excel in during school. Meet with the counselors yourself and ask them what you can do to help your children.

Observe your child’s hobbies. They may like looking at the stars. They may be fascinated by the weather or even playing the computer games today, can signify a talent relating to computers. If you see something interesting in your children’s life investigate the feelings they are having and encourage them to learn everything they can about the subject. Suggest this could turn out to be a college major or even something they want to do for a living. If the reaction is positive give they support. Don’t force them or assume this is the job they’ll do forever. Let them know it’s an adventure your there for. Discuss, wander, investigate and see. Otherwise onward and to the next passage, stressing you want to be there to guide and advice them.

They make the choices you bring the opportunities. This is what our family is doing with Mary and it’s been fun. Yes, we’re concerned we get her started in the right direction. So we’re focusing on teaching good habits, honor, being on time, keeping commitments she makes. Recognizing this won’t be easy and many days it isn’t fun. Stressing she are not doing this alone we’re in this together.

Its working Mary is thinking and trying to be cooperative with our suggestions. For us it’s important to remember it’s not our careers…rather hers and so our influence should be support not trying to talk Mary into something we think is best… It can be difficult when you have a family as opinionated as ours. So as I wish you luck with your children and their futures, I hope we do what’s right for our Mary, giving her opportunities and direction to a successful career. I hope we all continue to remember it’s her expectations and we should be the GPS giving her the map to look, answering questions as she goes along. Remembering to provide good advice and ethical values and work habits. Think about someone you love in your family you could offer these thoughts too. Lets be a GPS to our youth. Start young, get them thinking. Teach them it’s a process you can equate to as a passage. Ride along and listen to their dreams. Show them how sometimes ideas can be jobs and careers. Be patient, loving and informed.

My best, Dorothy

Remember to call gram

3 Responses to “Grandmas part of the GPS to Marys Career and Future”

1. FENICLE on February 12th, 2008 at 4:06 am

   Your granddaughter is very lucky to have you as a wise support system. I think what you’ve written is all good advice for anyone…no matter what age they are or what stage they are in life!

2. grammolo on February 12th, 2008 at 11:23 am

   FENICLE, Thanks for the encouragement and I agree this is good advice for all of us. Look at me starting this a 61 and loving it….

   Although I noticed (all the meds) I did this twice. However, I think my second article above made more sense. I tell you when I look back in six months there will be tears, laughter, joy and absolute gratitude that this part of my life has passed. And I don’t like to rush life at this age. So thanks for bearing with me..as I may again repeat a post because of all the meds they are pumping into me.

   Oh well life is like that…

   My very best to you..
   dorothy from grammology
   remember to call gram (she may not know what day it is)

3. Robin on February 12th, 2008 at 11:38 pm

   And hey..look at me…33 years old and still trying to figure it out, go after my dreams after having a “successful” career…you just never know what you’re going to do in life…and hey..that’s okay!!! I’d be more than happy to talk to Mary more…although I am an exception…possibly picking up and moving cross-country for a brand new career…aaaahhhhh…but it’s just part of this adventure we call life!
   Robin