Memories make them today….
Where is the U-Haul?
This was an interesting few days as I stayed at my brothers and visited with my sisters and Lisa. They live a house away from each other and there is always a lot going on while I’m there. Each of the houses has lots of kids, family and friends and people coming and going all times of day and night. Because Joe and I live 40 minutes away from the family; every time I go there it’s an experience. I really enjoy interacting with the kids and my siblings however, coming from a more peaceful lifestyle; it does require an adjustment. Nevertheless, I had a great time, even when I crashed and went into sleep land for hours.
My mom lived in my brothers home for her last few years before she died in October. Henry and Linda had built an addition for her, as well as remodeling a portion of their home for Linda (my sister in laws mom before she passed). In my family what ever is needed they do to accommodate the kids and the folks? Therefore the houses have rooms where everyone can have a great time visiting as grandchildren should. Extra beds, televisions and games galore they could have sleepovers for many and often do. So when I stay with them, it’s as though I’m in a little apartment of my own. Yet you’re in the middle of the family and its wonderful confusion. This because (my husband) was scheduled to leave for a bike trip during my chemo week and my siblings would not hear of me being alone.
Going between the two houses proved fun and joyful as I always get a chance to catch up on what’s going on their lives. Each time I tell myself, I’m coming over more often and I’ll be seeing the kids on a more regular basis. Then life gets in the way, we go back to our old habits and as they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Therefore, it’s up to me to make the necessary change to be more involved.
This brings me to my thoughts while I was visiting. How often do you ask yourself what you would change if you could? Are you satisfied with the choices you made regarding where you live? Do you get to see your family as often as you want or more important need? What can you as families do to change if you’re not getting enough of your siblings and their children? I’m sure there are those that don’t care however; I’m hoping there are more of us who are trying to see their family more often, especially as you get older. And of courses in my case you get sick.
I will never forget my X husband telling me this pearl of wisdom over 30 years ago; two thoughts I’d like to share with you. “When you die, you don’t see a U-haul with all your possessions going in the ground with you”. They stay here and often don’t mean a thing to anyone left in your life. Indicating life’s focus is the time and the love you’re allowed together not the possessions. The memories are worth so much more then the stuff. When you don’t have them, it seems like life may have been fruitless. And then to further get me thinking he said; I’ve never heard anyone utter they wished they worked a little more or gone to their job a few more days and worked harder before they die.
As mad as this man use to make me, (remember he’s my X) his statement has lived with me forever. And I’ve often repeated it and I can’t remember when it didn’t have an impact on whomever I was saying it too.
I always saw in their eyes that they understood the importance of living here and now. That all the treasures, all the money in the end meant nothing compared to the memories we should be living.
So being with my family this weekend and seeing all the kids. Living the chaos, knowing they live every day to be with each other; and they treasure the moments. Even as family and friends can become management intense and you often end up giving more time and energy then planned. I watched them; I saw them through my tired eyes, as I faded in and out this weekend. Into my la la land of chemo which was with me most of the time. They cooked, served, offered everything they had in their homes for the kids ages two to adults. There was noise and confusion everywhere while friends and family were swimming, laughing, eating and having fun. Yet all I saw were smiles of joy on my families faces. Grateful that they had each other to share their lives with; and not in a hurry to have the evening end. Making those memories, and not working. If only we could bottle the formula my family lives. If only even while I battle this horrible disease I could remember what is really important. And focus on that U-haul. Because the memories I made this weekend, were once again the important things life gives. Not how often I worked or what I owned. It was the time together that was important as a family.
Will you be wise enough to embrace it if given the opportunity or do you have a U-haul ordered in your future? And should you consider more work and less play, so those bosses get everything they can before we go on to that big place in the sky. Ah yes, I have much to think about. How about you? What are you doing this weekend?
I returned home and I’m waiting for one of my grandchildren to spend the night. I have a fun day planned tomorrow even if it’s going to be hot and I won’t be at my best. I’ll give it all the effort I can. I’ll be making those memories and hoping your thinking about doing the same. And the hell with the U-haul and more work…doesn’t even seem like a question to me. This weekend my priorities are in the right place. Thank you family for once again proving your smarter then me, I love you…and that means you too Lisa….hugs…
Dorothy
8 Responses to “Memories make them today….”
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thank you for that reminder, so very true and important.
it is true isnt it, When I go visit my grandkids, and come home or if they have come for the weekend, I can’t wait for the quiet…thanks for the comment on my blog…hugssss Mary
Yes we should always treasure the memories and not possessions, although the Egyptians buried their dead with their treasures. I like what your x husband said. We are not Egyptians! Enjoy the time you spend with your grandchildren. I am going to enjoy the time I am able to spend with my children. That is what matters! God Bless! Thank you for visiting Healthy Moms.
This is so true. The time you spend with your family is important. I am having a wonderful time with my dad and the alpaca’s.
I have a mind set of late, “It’s time to make a memory” every day for the rest of my life.
Thanks for re-enforcing the importance of family
Kelly
Dear Dorothy,
We always enjoy your visits. Your energy level was severely compromised this time but, you still managed to handle our version of “organized chaos” with paitience and humor. You even tolerated the pets! I appreciate the time that you took to explain your fatigue and your hair loss to the grandkids in words that they could understand. It is my hope that the kids will further develop compassion for all people dealing with health related issues or disabilities. I believe that Malachi, age 6, will need a little fine tuning. We went shopping this weekend and the store was so busy that we circled the parking lot looking for the closest space to park. Malachi pointed out a spot. I explained that we couldn’t use that spot because it was designated as a “Handicap/Disabled” space. “But Gram,” he said, “It’ll be OK – you are old”. Talk about memories…..
Love,
XOX
That sounds like my house. Most of my sisters and brothers live close to me so there is always a lot of people, especially kids here.
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I have so much fun myself…other then not being 100% the memories far outweigh the effort. Life can be so short I try to fill up my dance card and make the best of my dancing capability.
thanks everyone for your great comments…
Dorothy