Sadly there is little a mom can do when the father of your child is not interested in giving his children attention. It’s not much different then the old saying you can lead a horse to water however he has to do the drinking himself. 

 

I thought about this last night when one of my grandchildren (Noah) called me from his dad’s phone and he proudly told me: gram I’m with my father tonight he’s been working a lot and I haven’t seen him much so we’re bonding and I wondered did he even know what the word meant he’s only 6 years old.   He was so proud that his daddy had taken him out for father and son time and I’m sure my daughter was quietly pleased as children need both their parents which lead me to the ones who don’t care or can’t be bothered and their children miss out on so much further there is nothing a mother can do if a parent isn’t going to fulfill his obligations to his children and feeling guilty doesn’t help.

 

Therefore if your in one of those one sided relationships the only choice you have is to find a way to supplement the missing part. Often there are grandparents who are willing to spend time with your child or you may have a brother who is available in place of his father. There’s no one who can take the position of either parent however there are things you can do to ease the pain and make life good for your children. I know I’ve said this before and some of you probably say she’s always pushing the church when I remind you that there are great programs on Sundays for children as well as cub and boy scouts where they interact with male counter parts learning camping, fishing, and hunting to name a few things. We know in a perfect world mom and dad and the “Leave it Beaver” home are wonderful however for single parent that’s not always the way it is. So if you are a mother whose children are missing a father in their every day world stop feeling sorry for yourself and think about what you can do to make it up. Feeling guilty will only add to your responsible for the wrongdoing you feel for the kids and that’s crazy you can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want too so move on. Thus join a church or get involved with some groups who have boy things available for your son’s and girl things for dads and daughters. Yes it’s one more duty for you to take charge of however, when you reflect on whom we are as moms and grandmothers facing the ills of the world head on and moving forward with a solution is really who we are and if your first attempt at something doesn’t work try something new until it does.

 

I speak from my world as some days I wonder does the responsibility of being a parent and grandmother, great grandmother ever stop or change and my conclusion at age 63 in July is never. I sense the responsibilities (if you want them) become larger because I lived more and want to give and share what I missed. Therefore being a parent is never easy nor does it stop so I’ve added it to my bucket list all the way to the top because it’s who I am and I’m guessing it’s many of who you are and all the money in the world and many of the rich and famous treasures don’t compare to the smile of a child or (grown up one) when they say thanks grandma or thanks mom for being there for me. When I observe the famous athletes and stars that often when receiving the highest honors and awards tearfully thanking their moms for being there for them through all of their lives; I’m proud to be one of those moms myself this is the best job I ever had.

So if you’re in one of those relationships where you have to be all things for your children establish how to help them being prepared to discuss the subject at the appropriate time offer assurance that your love is more then they’ll need and together you’ll make it through their lives. When they ask why dad doesn’t want them, carefully choose what you’ll say as it will either help or hurt the already wounded mind of your child therefore seeking the advice of a counselor pastor or priest ahead of time may give you ideas and prepare you for that moment. Secretly you can think the guys a looser jerk or worst however it won’t help to add those feelings to the minds of children already feeling rejected. For that reason being prepared before the conversation is imperative to your family being as normal as possible and the good news (if there is any) there are many single parents your not alone and you can have a well developed child if you take the time to learn what to say to them. Please don’t think this will just go away if you ignore it so I’m wishing you the best as you deal with another family issue that many of us have faced before and dealt with successfully.

 

Blessings, Dorothy