When I hear children cry because they want mom or dad to buy them something in the store and when the parent says no they have a tantrum and of course then you feel like you’ve done something wrong and the dance begins and most of the time the child wins. I’m not criticizing because they give in I’m wondering if they might consider what to say before they enter the store and if the rules are broken leave with the child screaming or ranting so you are establishing consequences and setting a good example assuring them next time with good behavior things will be different. However in order to accomplish this you need support from both parents or if you’re parenting alone friends or family to run this by as to what you do when your child acts up while in any kind of store where they may want something now and you say no. There is nothing worse then a single parent who already suffers from guilt especially if they are a working parent worrying they are not giving enough of what their children need because they’re gone so much from their lives already and now all they want is a simple toy and you say no making you feel like a jerk (Sound familiar).

 

Guilt will drive you crazy if you’re not careful I know because my daughter is unsure if she is a good mother sometimes when she disciplines her kids and we constantly talk about what she’s done and if it makes sense. Each family has their own set of values however most of them mean the same thing so here are a few of my thoughts.

 

 

 

 

I’ll finish by saying I’m among the greatest grandma’s in the world and I’d give everything to my daughter and her family however it’s always been with rules and consequences.  I usually had a string attached however menial  for what I gave or did for them they know me for my rules and lectures and I’m sure often they didn’t even like me however they always loved me and knew it was for their best interest even if at the moment they didn’t agree. Today as the kids are much older they tease me for what I represent because they know I gave and always was there and yet there was also the element of them knowing if I didn’t agree or like what they were doing there’d be hell to pay. To this day if I’m coming to visit they run around making sure the house is in order praying I don’t inspect their rooms knowing my feelings life is not free and the only way our kids will learn is from us and it starts with little things pride in their homes, keeping things in order, fulfilling obligations they make, respect of elders and parents working hard moving forward with their very best efforts even when it’s not easy. To this day they tease me as I would say if this old lady can do it so can you and so they did there few times my children and grandchildren didn’t do exactly as I’d hoped while they were in my company and I’d like to believe between my daughter and her husband we’ve been a good influence in their lives and how they’ll end up in the future is part of our influence we’re far from perfect but they are ours and we did our best and here’s hoping you will too.