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Teach your children well

16 July 2009 8 Comments

How much have you really told your kids about life today?

advice-300x225 I received a call from a friend who was struggling with issues regarding her family I could tell she didn’t want my opinion and she hoped I wouldn’t be judgmental instead a sounding board for now and give her my thoughts another time. Parents know when they’ve given to much or haven’t required their children to recognize working for a life time is what most of us do and that five star vacations or expensive cars are several years from their children’s grasp because that’s life for the average family. I’m convinced when parents had it tough while growing up a great deal of their motivation while raising their children is to make their lives easier then what it was for them and while this is noble I’ve noticed the kids often believe they won’t need to do without, struggle or in many cases work because mom and dad have always provided and why should that end and I’ve heard the term entitled and frankly I’ve seen it in a lot of our teens and 20’s generation. Add to it that they are rarely on time and when you interview them the first question they ask is how many weeks vacation and what are the breaks during the day and this is no exaggeration it’s the way it is.

Therefore, and I hope you know this is reality it’s imperative that you teach your children life is filled with the unexpected and what you have today could be gone tomorrow thus getting an education and planning a course of hard work and saving money is the only sure way you’ll have a secure financial future. You need to teach them to be on time, make commitments and encourage them to dress for the occasion by doing some investigating before they meet for a job interview rarely is it acceptable to wear seductive clothes when applying for a job or dungarees. Let them know they will not just work a few years it will be a lifetime and if they are able to take one or two weeks for vacation a year they’re lucky because with healthcare, the price of housing and gasoline to name a few things life is getting harder not easier. Creating good habits with your children begins in the home and in school and today kids often think their parents and their school owe them a generation of patience and it’s alright when they don’t put forth their best efforts their parents will make it better or so they think.

Our mother was between a drill sergeant and a task master she was tougher then nails her day and ours was filled with chores, commitments, obligations and fun was a very small part of our weeks. I remember feeling as though life couldn’t possibly be this tough and wondered why we were taught to be so disciplined when all we really wanted to do was play and have a good time. Today I can’t imagine what I couldn’t deal with in life and my ability to survive is amazing as my mom and her philosophy have guided and given me the capability to work through all of the harsh times in my life. Thus, teaching your children these principles will be an asset to their futures: life is not free you usually give more then you receive, prepare for the unexpected with a back up plan of what if, develop a work ethic that is long hours and few vacations for at least the first ten years, get an education for something you love and prepare to give it all you have, and remember the example you set will be what your peers will think about who you are.

This of course means being on time, dressing for the job and realizing your life will be more work then fun and that’s before you’ll come home and continue with your obligations and commitments at home. Life is far from free and easy and the sooner your kids get it the better their minds will be able to accept what life will give them.

My friend, well I made her feel better because I listened and let her voice her thoughts without that judgment we discussed however, her choices are few until she is ready to help her children understand the reality of life her kids will not move forward being able to work hard and endure the reality of surviving in today’s world and when she’s ready, I’ll ask her to read this post I think it’ll help and I’m hoping you agree.

Ohhhhh thanks for listening you see I needed to vent today as well.

8 Comments »

PJ said:

i need an applause smiley here! that was great! i know the sense of entitlement that you spoke of. i saw a little bit of that in my children, but i nipped that immediately. i see it greatly in the teens now. it is totally ridiculous!

i firmly believe that this sort of behavior grew when the “powers that be” started putting more rights in the hands of the child. when they started pressing child abuse issues (and by no means am i advocating beating/injuring a child) and taking the power away from the parent. when my kids told me that they were going to call social services on me i grabbed the phone and dialed the number. i told them that if they thought it was going to be better in the system, then by all means go for it. of course they never did.

i am involved now with a 12 year old child that is unbelievable! i have never witnessed a child that was so disrespectful and so mean to the people that love her. i just don’t understand. we started a family counseling meeting today and now you are supposed to negotiate with the child! wtf is that! i could go on and on and on, but i won’t monopolize your blog. just wanted to tell you that i am with you!

# 16 July 2009 at 10:51 pm

June said:

The problem is that often the young do feel that things are their entitlement…not something that is special and needs to be worked for. Sad, but true.
We can only say we’ve been successful with our kids if they grow up with respect for others and the understanding that nothing comes without effort!!

# 17 July 2009 at 6:52 pm

Dorothy Stahlnecker (author) said:

Thanks for the comments it’s great to finally be working on our new front page we’re excited and will be hosting give aways next week.

Meanwhile

June thanks for taking time to give me your thoughts and
PJ the same I have to try to figure out another way to tell everyone thank you as we are all so busy every time I receive a comment I’m grateful.

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

# 18 July 2009 at 3:27 am

Grampy said:

I’ll try to keep it short. First of all great post and very accurate. I just retired in May. I drove a city bus for 28yrs. I found that the younger people are growing with the give it to me it is mine attitude. They are also losing common respect for themselves and others. I blame a combination of the system and the parents. I see a lot of parents with the same attitudes.
Well have a good weekend and Thanks for visiting Grampys Place.

# 18 July 2009 at 7:54 am

Michelle said:

I agree, with every word. I’m 39 now and I’ve worked with people that are in their early and mid twenties. I’ve seen this lazy attitude and it drives me nuts. My mom calls it the I want it now generation. I’ve worked ans struggled all my life. Things never came easy and I’m thankful that I’ve learned these lessons. I hope that I can instill in my daughter these values and morals that my mother has left me with. Thanks for this inspirational post. I enjoyed it. It’s really made me think. Have a wonderful weekend Dorthoy. Thanks so much for your sweet comment regarding my little one.

Hugs
Michelle

P.S. I sent you a friends request on FB. Just thought I’d let you know it’s me.

# 18 July 2009 at 9:05 am

PinkLady said:

hi DOROTHY… this is a great blog and your posts are quite enlightening. i’m happy to have found your site. i will surely be back to read more.

thanks for visiting my site (Sheepish Thoughts) and leaving a comment there.

Bing =)

# 18 July 2009 at 9:31 am

Dorothy Stahlnecker (author) said:

Selbon, thanks for stopping by and reading my post hope you enjoy this site.

Grampy, it’s so sad the way kids speak to their elders or parents lately we can’t give up on them however sometimes it is hard. Thanks for the comment.

Michelle, yes for the friend request thanks and for the kind words and agreement of what we need to consider with our children.

Pink Lady, I’m glad you found me as well I enjoyed your blog and will return.

BK, Amen to our childrens future we really do have to give great consideration to how we prepare them for the future and they need to know you have to work hard in order to achieve success and it may take years and they don’t start at the top hope you’ll come back.

# 18 July 2009 at 2:29 pm