Looks like we are entering into silly season once again.
Guest Post from Kelly Davis
About the middle of September every year it begins a time of excitement and worry. Holidays are upon us, shopping is in front of us and time is not on our side. Halloween, birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas AAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
How do we keep our sanity in all this? First of all stop trying so hard. If money is and issue make a friends date, have all your friends make a dish to pass, bring something to drink find a place to have a get together—so one person doesn’t get the bulk of the work and let that be that.
No gifts—no fuss. In this economy most people will understand and those who don’t should not be part of your group. Take some time for you everyday whether it be a hot bath time with pets or a glass of wine. Try to limit the things that make you crazy, if you must take care of other people needs make sure to take care of yours first. Remember you are not good to anyone if you are overwhelmed.
Make sure you don’t let anyone have free reign of you or your home. Take control of your world. Make sure that your home is open for friendship but can’t be taken over. For those who need to control you—you lived without them before—what makes them think you can’t do it again. People need to respect you your family and your home. It is a privilege to come to your home not a right. Privacy is a big deal—no one should be in your personal space ex: bedrooms, office or studio with out your permission or without someone with them. This is your home and no one should expect anything but your hospitality of welcoming them in to it.
Be specific. If you are having a dinner party put on the invitation a start and finish time. Three AM is not acceptable. If your friends tend to drink too much let them know ahead of time that this is not your responsibility. Honesty is not always appreciated but is respected.
Setting guide lines is the best idea, let people know what to expect. If Sunday evening is time for your family just let it be known. You need your time. If you need to shut the ringer off on the phone and don’t answer the door for your own little get away so be it. Take the blame, if there is something you don’t like just say it. Be careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings but they don’t know if you don’t tell them. Sometimes common sense isn’t always in great supply.
Now here is a big one—-exercise the same respect for your friends; if they get home at 6pm don’t call them at 6:15. Give them the same space and time that you need. Be willing to give them control of there home with out telling them how to run it. We will all be happier if we just communicate.
what a nice and apt post, ma’am! we all need a little reminder sometimes.
oh! it is indeed an eye opener….i particularly like this, so very, very true…
“For those who need to control you—you lived without them before—what makes them think you can’t do it again.”
this one makes me smile…
“If you need to shut the ringer off on the phone and don’t answer the door for your own little get away so be it.”…..i am guilty of this one.once i am home after a long day at work, no one and nothing close to an emergemcy can get me out..
thanks for sharing this….life is dictated by how we want to live it!!
Good morning and later today I hope David will give Kelly Davis her credit for this post as she is a regular guest poster here and my friend. She is filled with such great wisdom for a young women…and I love sharing her thoughts as sometimes she helps ground me. Therefore you’ll see her more in the future and she gives us some great recipes..
Thanks again…Dorothy
What a great post. I’m often a “yes” person, and I’ve had a few times when I commit to all kind of things and stress myself out. The past few years I’ve gotten better about just leveling with people about what I can and can’t commit to doing. It is especially important as the holidays get close.
Just stopping by to say hello. What a nice mug and post. Fall is coming…
Last year for Christmas I bought my love a relatively inexpensive belt. He needed it. He bought me a novel I’d had my eye on. We didn’t wrap the gifts or stand on ceremony. He found his belt laid out on the clothes he’d prepared the night before. I found my book next to my breakfast plate.
We were rebelling against the commercialism and the “out-do” the neighbors mentality. It felt good. We had a nice dinner with friends and did a lot of laughing. It was a joyful season.
Such good advice. I’ve never thought to put an end time and I should!
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