Home » Family

Two different kinds of family dinner

8 November 2009 20 Comments

Does having money make the difference?

Many of us spend too much time wishing and praying for money and the ability to live what we perceive as the good life overflowing with expensive cars large homes country clubs and fancy clothes; missing what we really need love family and friends so we are able to sense the heartfelt emotions of just being together exposing our true feelings and what we’re experiencing in life.   Exploited on television the millionaire bachelor looking for the beautiful wife showing the rich and famous which give you the illusion that’s how we unite with success and live happier ever after which from most of us know doesn’t really happen. Therefore when it doesn’t you keep wondering what you didn’t do to be where most of us live in happyville the way we were brought up to think marriage family husband are neat and tidy brimming with the good life all the toys and expensive homes and accessories so we’ll be fulfilled and there it is does all the expensive possessions make you happy?

Conversely imagine two dining room tables in rooms next to each other each table filled with the same china silver and crystal both having their choice of family and friends over to share in the food and beverages they love deep into traditions and ethnic backgrounds for the menu with the customs of the group so they feel at home and able to celebrate and enjoy each other during this extensive meal celebrating who they are.

Can you hear the laughter can you feel the happiness in both rooms and I wonder is there a matriarch or a patriarch heading the table and are there stories being shared and babies making noise seeing the laughter dominating the one room filled with joy intensifying past the clamor feeling the joy of dinner a tool for family and friends to celebrate life.   If you were taking pictures would you focus on the eyes of the older grandparents well into their 90’s wrinkled old hands and skin which has lost it’s elasticity along with the grey and white hair which lines the faces of the aged couple noticing the wrinkles yet the beauty of this elder.  Could you capture their serenity with the photo as the old woman reaches down and picks up her great grandchild who tries to scurry under the table and everyone laughs when grandma smiles and kisses the child and the sound amazing as the baby instinctively feels the love and affection this great grandma is giving them and you hear the giggles of joy from the child almost like the love of animal as it jumps into the lap of it’s owner and feels the safe harbor while in the arms of it’s owner there the perfect snapshot or would we need to be there to understand  a photo cannot capture the treasured ah ha moment.    At the other end of the table a brother and sister both in their teens are fighting about who will drive the car tonight  mom and dad are perplexed as to how they’ll decide needing something miraculous in the end so both can be  pleased with their parents choice.  Everyone is smiling eating passing the dishes filled with meat and potatoes vegetables and your thinking how do I manage to save room for what’s next the traditional drinks and pastries sensing the closing stages of the time together and you want to prolong the finish of the family dinner knowing it’s close and you’ll have to wait for the next gathering and your already wondering how soon before everyone gets together again.

And in the other room a more sedate family dressed for the evening in fashionable clothes missing the older couple (grandparents) as it’s a family tradition mom and dad and the kids enjoy without the rest of the family or friends they are served a formal 7 course dinner with the finest foods flambé desserts foods you rarely even understand the names of as the menu is usually in two languages.  the conversation is quiet because your not able to laugh and yell and holler it’s not the way of this family the best of manners no one speaks while the other is talking or while someone else is telling a story your remembering your manners taught in prep school thus the room is seemingly quiet yet you know there’s conversation your just not listening instead thinking you’ll pass on dessert because you don’t want to gain any weight and who cares you’ve  had it all before and you really wonder how much longer you’ll have to stay not to seem disrespectful to your parents and their efforts. The event is not old family recipes or traditions there are no indulgence of ethnic customs and as soon as you’re able you have other things to do whereby the other family sits around and talks remembering other gatherings and are not in a hurry to leave instead savor the moments as long as they can. Both families can have either dinner the expensive or the simple one what is really the success of this time together is the inner action

Therefore do you wonder if the financial position of the family is what keeps us happy or is it making sure you have time with each other each sharing how you feel and what your hopes and dreams are? Because as I’ve described two families one poor and one rich each having dinner both seemingly content yet one seemed to find the answer to life’s biggest question other then the fountain of youth what it takes to have your bucket list fulfill you biggest dreams and it doesn’t seem to begin with how much money you have in the bank.  Maybe wishing for happiness begins within yourself and you have to really decide what makes you satisfied with your life.  And when you’re able to answer the question go out and make it happen wow am I in a rare mood today as I wrote this awhile ago and decided only today to give it a chance to live or die on our blog what do you think?

20 Comments »

  • PJ said:

    i believe that it is the happiness within that makes for an awesome get together. i have never been one to believe that it takes money or material things to be happy. as long as i can be with my family and friends, i don’t care if it is in a shoe box, we will have a wonderful, happy time. another great post dorothy! have a great day…hugz!

  • Marion Vermazen said:

    You have a great blog Dorothy. Don’t ever quit. You can not post for a few weeks but always come back :-) Thanks for stopping by my blog. Do you have any trips planned in the future?
    Marion

  • Aree said:

    Very good post…

  • Susan Helene Gottfried said:

    It’s got nothing to do with money and everything to do with the people involved. We all want what we don’t have; it’s human nature.

  • askcherlock said:

    I have been rich and I have been poor. I am happiest in the middle, but that old adage is true. “Money can’t buy you happiness.” Give me family time any day of the week.

  • Tweets that mention Grammology.com » Blog Archive » Two different kinds of family dinner -- Topsy.com said:

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jon Warren, Sandra Martinez. Sandra Martinez said: Grammology.com » Blog Archive » Two different kinds of family dinner: Conversely imagine two dining room tables.. http://bit.ly/9YTl0 [...]

  • C said:

    I just have to say…

    I truly believe that the most disgusting show on television is The Bachelor.

    1. why would any man in his right mind think that he can find “the one” on a t.v. show advertised at women who want to marry someone who’s “perfect” ?

    2. why would any woman want to compete with other women for a man’s heart? i would NEVER want to have to do that!

    3. do those people REALLY think that what they find is LOVE??? On a t.v. show???

    4. are people really, really, that clueless about what love is?

    5. i have come to the conclusion that The Bachelor is not only a very disgusting show, but also a very, very sad one!!!!

    And, at this point, I’d also like to point out that, if you love someone because that someone makes you feel like your perfect…why can’t you have the brains enough to realize that thats NOT love? Love loves you whilst seeing everything that’s wrong with you!!!! And hits you on the head ’til you get fixed again!!!!

  • willie said:

    Well, Money is important but it does not guarantee a happy life for sure.

  • Man Over Board said:

    Dorothy, another really great post. It is so true about what you speak. Money does not buy you family or true happiness.

    I always enjoy, even if it is once a week for everyone to sit down and eat dinner together. A way for all of us to reconnect in our busy life. It is a rewarding pleasure you cannot put a price tag on.

    Thanks for the post :-)

  • Twenty Four At Heart said:

    Thank you for stopping by 24! I live adjacent to a very affluent Orange County neighborhood (the same neighborhood The Real Housewives show is based on). I can say with 100% certainty that money does not make people happy. Yes, it is probably human nature to wish for nicer “things” … but things are only things.

  • Tomas said:

    Thank you for the wonderful article. You words water the roots of our being. There are nothing more refreshing than the gathering of the family at a dinner table. I see that not as some personal achievement but the most precious gift, because if one would become sick, the family wouldn’t forsake him therefore, but would care with him in all possible ways, would overfill the unfortunate with the healing love. So can I say that comes from me? I am just the happy receiver.
    Just one surprises me. As much as I have seen in my life, the desirable wellness typically freeze in the atmosphere at a dinner table, meanwhile the material poverty awake the sharing.
    We all like to eat well, yet personally I would prefer stale loaf of bread from the hands of a friend to the delicious table in the loneliness with the angry passersby under the window.
    Have a look at my picture autumn melody http://arthiker.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/autumn-melody/ That’s my go out

  • Chris B said:

    Though money can eliminate some stress from the bill paying public – it certainly can make things worse in the relationship department! I’ve often found that those from those who have less money can often have more secure relationships – though it isn’t always true, I believe that with money you learn to distrust the people around you because so many take advantage of you!

  • Maria @ Conversations with Moms said:

    You always make great points. Hubby plays the lotto every week and I always joke that I’m not sure I would want to win. I don’t know if it would make our life easier or more complicated. I don’t believe money equates happiness.

  • joared said:

    I’ve known of a couple individuals who won small lotteries several years ago. After a year or two they ended up in worse financial condition than what they had before winning. Family relationships reportedly became convoluted as one winner was trying to help some family, everybody wanted help, hard feelings emerged and not much of anyone was better off than they had been before. The winner got in such a bind he had to return to work at an age he needed to be thinking about retiring. Never knew how everything finally turned out for him after that.

    Guess we’d like to think we’d be able to handle a sudden financial windfall, and maybe we would. On the other hand, that’s what those people thought, too.

  • Angeline said:

    Thank you for sharing this.
    Many thoughts ran through my mind because of my family background….

    Money is the most common cause of family break-ups, that’s undeniable.

    But one thing holds true, the unity of the family depends alot on the goals of every member. If its a common goal for every member, then issues of money will never break them up. It will be as simple as “so long as we are together as a family. We are happy. Even if it means to just eat bread.”

  • meleah rebeccah said:

    I think MONEY is a necessary evil, however, money cant buy love or happiness. That I know first hand.

  • Tina t said:

    I definitely think that family is more important than anything. I remember reading about Sam Walton’s final days and how he said that he was a failure because he had a son who wouldn’t speak to him and he had other family members who were just waiting for him to go to get a hunk of the fortune. When the focus is accumulating money I think it is very easy to find that one day you have gained the world but lost your soul.

  • Anti-Aging Orlando Secrets Revealed! | Anti-Aging Guide said:

    [...] Grammology.com » Blog Archive » Two different kinds of family dinner [...]

  • Christmas Sheet Music – a Family Tradition | Its All About Christmas said:

    [...] Grammology.com » Blog Archive » Two different kinds of family dinner [...]

  • Christmas Books | Its All About Christmas said:

    [...] Grammology.com » Blog Archive » Two different kinds of family dinner [...]

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.