Brittany Murphy too young to die
I can only imagine what the parents of Brittany must me feeling today as they move through the motions of putting their daughter to rest, as parents aren’t suppose to ever have to bury their children thus, I hope they have family and friends who will see them through this as they will need to have people they love and respect by their sides as they make it through the next few months.
There are so many questions a parent has when a child dies and none of them are anything less then heart wrenching and only time will make it easier to get past the days and I hope her family will find some way to be alright as these begin to feel the pain for never being able to see their daughter again.
Having lost my son over 18 years ago, I thought I’d remind everyone when a child dies the family never knows what they can do to help, and frequently nothing is said because no one is sure how to behave around the parents. It’s probably different for everyone however, many parents I’ve talked to, tell me they are grateful when friends and family encourage them to talk about their child and loss, my family had to listen to me tell them how much I missed Daniel and all the pain I was feeling and it really helped me get through some very rough years, therefore if you can, ask a parent who’s lost a child, what they would like you to do and I think you’ll be surprised at their frankness, don’t inquire right away, however when you feel it might be the right moment, find out what they’re thinking and if they would like to share some of their feelings if they are, be ready to simply listen. If you have any recollections share them, keeping in mind memories are what we have and often we hang on to them for dear life so we don’t forget the most precious things (our children) in our life, parents tell me when they loose a child their biggest fear their child will be forgotten, therefore giving them the opportunity to talk about them is more important then anything you can give them, thus I hope Brittany’s family is surrounded by those who will be there during their long healing time.
We lost my younger sister at age twenty-four in 1974 — three days before my son was born. It changed my mother forever — my sister was her favorite child — and she has never recovered. Her loss (yes, it was her loss and no one else’s) turned into angry, bitter person and it’s been directed at my brother and I horribly over the decades. I know she would have preferred that it was me. I also know that there is nothing my brother or I can do to make her happy so we have given up and keep our distance as neither of us wants or needs the hassle.
I know it’s sad but we have to consider our own mental health.
I am sorry for your loss. And I admire you for treating Murphy and her family like real people deserving of consideration and respect, not Hollywood freaks. There was always something touching and real about Murphy when she appeared on Letterman or Leno. She seemed unafraid to seem unmanaged, and real. So tragic. God Bless
I never know what to say, it is so tragic. I hope parents tell us about them. Keep memory alive. Little more we can do from a distance. I thought Brittany was terrific. Her death shocked me.
I’m impressed to read your way of condoling someone’s death. Although, it’s sad to hear your loss but I appreciate how you described it. I’ve learned much from this single post. I think our patience can help us to get our reward from our Creator.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
\Allah (God) says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward).’\
(Ref: Bukhari)
Thanks.
So sad to hear you have lost a child. An unimaginable and unfair pain. I also lost my youngest sister but she was in her early 50’s. My mother also became bitter and directed her anger at my sister’s husband and therefore we did not see the children of the that marriage until my mother passed away. Good advice you give.
I can’t imagine what it would feel like to lose a child. My sister-in-law lost her only son just over a year ago. I also know of a couple online friends who have lost their children in the last few weeks.
It was very sad about Brittany.
Great advice. It’s hard to know what to say and do.
I am so sad for your loss. It does change one’s life forever when a child or a close relative dies. How dreadful it must be for this young girl’s family too. Our hearts are with you….
This is just one of the most shocking news before 2009 ended. A lot of good and bad news just made 2009 something to remember and for some.. to forget.
I’m happy that you somehow got over your son. Of course you’ll cherish the memory of him.
Oh man, this post is too touching.
Much Love,
P.S., I’m glad I visited your wonderful site.
This is just one of the most shocking news before 2009 ended. A lot of good and bad news just made 2009 something to remember and for some.. to forget.
I’m happy that you somehow got over your son. Of course you’ll cherish the memory of him.
Oh man, this post is too touching.
Much Love,
P.S., I’m glad I visited your wonderful site.
And please delete my comment above. I forgot to put in my website lol!
Thank you for your words on Mandy’s blog.
I am so sorry for your loss. I find it awkward, never knowing if the parent wants the opportunity to not feel the pain for the minute or if they would rather shed a tear as the memories come flooding back.
I truly cannot even imagine a loss like this. I am so sorry to hear about your son. I sincerely wouldn’t know how to act towards a parent that lost a child so thank you for the advice!
Thoughtful post. I lost my only niece (who was loved like my daughter) when she was 18. It’s truly a test of faith to struggle with the death of a child. I thought it was very commendable of Ashton Kutcher to immediately send out heartfelt condolences to Brittany’s mom.
It’s been wonderful to live through another Christmas and be cancer free for two years now..and I’m wishing for another 30 years as I have so much love to give (and of course opinions to share)with my wonderful friends.
Thanks for all your comments I’ve read every one of them and agree this is a tough year for many of us, thus the uncertainty of our economy and what’s coming next and yes we’ll endure it together sharing our thoughts, and our fears.
Blessings my friends, I’ll be back with more and hope your here and please know every person who leaves me a message gets a visit from me on their site. When I find one who doesn’t have a blog I try to leave them a message so they know I was there. That’s what we do as bloggers broaden our list of friends and share each other lives and thoughts which give us strength to go on as there is strength in bonding with each other.
My very best,
Dorothy from grammology
I am so glad that you found my blog and left a comment as it led me to your wonderful place here in cyberspace. Just put you on my google reader…hope to read a lot more from you in 2010!!! Thanks for stopping by.
Omigoodness, I cannot even imagine the pain of losing your son. I am so sorry…! And,I’m so glad you visited me, so I was able to find your blog. I will be back.
I’m also glad to hear that you are well. Good news!
Cheers,
Jo
Dorothy, thank you for visiting my blog.
It kind of poleaxed me when I popped over here and this post came up. I lost my second son to suicide 3 1/2 years ago. It’s been a difficult journey.
I don’t know if there’s any “right” thing to say to someone who has lost a child. Sometimes people say the stupidest things, but I had to let it go, because some people really don’t have a sensitive bone in their bodies. It helps being intuitive to a person’s needs. And losing a child isn’t a prerequisite for having compassion for someone who has.
You know, when the shootings happened at Columbine, I felt so sorry for the parents of those two boys and what they were going through. Imagine not only losing your son, but also being outcast from society as well. At least I didn’t have that to overcome.
I also meant to say that I’m very sorry for the loss of your son.
So often, we forget to look at celebrities as people with parents who love them and that sort of normal living. Thanks for the reminder — and thanks for dropping in to say hi. It’s always great to see you in my comment trail.
To lose a child is beyond my imagination. To lose my best friend to cancer four years ago was difficult enough. Losing members of our congregation at intervals is hard too.
There’s a Church Coffee Shop in a nearby village where we always park and walk through the graveyard when we visit. When our girls were small we started visiting the graves of people we knew from the community for a chat, as I thought it was a way of teaching the girls about death and dying. After one such visit I overheard my then seven year old tell one of her friends, ‘We visited your Dad in … yesterday and I told him all about you singing at… and how you fell and cut your knee in the yard…’
I don’t know how other people feel about this, but in the rural west of Ireland the boundary between life and death is quite blurred at times.
Leave your response!
GIRLCOOK…COOKING IS LOVE MADE TANGIBLE
Skinny Pasta Vodka
Great pasta vodka includes two delicious ingredients: pancetta and heavy cream. What's not to like right? Well, when I make nightly dinners, I look for healthy alternatives
Lemon Dream Pie
Buttery pecan crust, icy vanilla yogurt layered with tangy lemon curd and topped with a wave of golden meringue....
Things We Love
Recent Viewers
Recent Comments
Archives
Favorite Sites to Visit
Recent Posts
TEST
Visit Saving Cinderella
Lijit Search
Most Commented
Categories