Working Moms have to suck it up

It wasn’t unusual for me to go to my job wondering what it might have been like to not have to work outside my home as I have for the last 30 years, because it was always part of my mantra “soon you’ll win the lottery and life will be simple.”

How often I’d think that thought and dream about winning the lottery so I could be home drinking coffee, deciding what I’d do to please me and be there for my kids, not worrying about the sales I needed to have a successful year while driving into the office with the same concerns–how will my children do without me being there.

Sound familiar, I think so as there are so many moms today balancing family and jobs to make ends meet, wondering when the Leave it to Beaver moms became extinct.

Where did the parents of the 50’s go and when did having a career while being a mother become the norm? Are we really happy the way it is today or are we filled with regret.

I’ve spoken to a lot of young and middle aged moms and I think most of them would rather be home not feeling guilty for all the things they can’t do with their children, including the PTA and school events and conferences they have to choose to attend or miss so they can keep their jobs.

Life for the working mother is always an uphill battle when you consider that children get sick and they want no one but mom by their bedside, and instead it’s a friend or family member who is there to help them get through the runny nose or flu bug they’ve picked up.

And when mom comes home tired and looking forward to settling in, first she has to prepare dinner, and make sure the chores are caught up as tomorrow is another day and the drill begins once more–so even then there’s not a lot of time for the children and even as I write this and remember those times, I become exhausted and I question, has anything changed, or is it the same today?

Being a working mom and now grandma, I think life was a little easier on the kids back then as today there’s a lot more going on for parents to worry about, drugs, drinking, early sexual activity, social networking, which we don’t understand, clothes, tattoos, and piercing, all more dramatic than when I was younger and raising the family. The environment didn’t seem as destructive as it is today–bullies more frequent, violence is everywhere often in schools, thus I wonder as a working mom–how do you feel when you walk out that door every day knowing you won’t be home when your children return and you can’t be there to give them a smile and say I love you how was your day?

And the big question if you won the lottery or inherited money would you stay home and be happier then having a career? Is it all it’s cracked up to be, because I never thought so, I always dreamed of being there for my kids. I did the best I could, however, I have so many doubts, although I don’t judge myself because I worked so we’d survive.

Now I wonder, am I the norm or the minority? Therefore, mom’s let me know where you stand and how you deal with the guilt and pain of going to work, in order to make ends meet. Sadly the memory is still vivid in my heart and soul, and I wonder, did I really do all I could for my family or because I always worked did they miss out on me not being there when they really needed me and will my regrets ever go away?