Grammology.com » Blog Archive » Sex and intimacy with your partner, what about it

Sex and intimacy with your partner, what about it

5 March 2010 28 Comments

rodan

Women and Intimacy with their partners

Describing intimacy versus sex is a sensitive subject for men and women not because anyone’s embarrassed, women understand it and secretly regret they don’t have it in their marriage or relationship, men think it’s sex want it all the time, and fail to realize both are a necessary in order to satisfy their partners. Therefore, to help both sexes recognize the difference between getting laid and having an intimate encounter made me decide to share some thoughts I had regarding this subject.

Intimacy is having a close relationship, sharing quiet times getting to know each other and what goes on in your head by asking questions and listening to what each has to say, remembering the conversations for another time and asking her how things are did she have any other thoughts from the last occasion you spoke, thus it’s almost like homework and a future test, because if you don’t listen and commit those words to your memory, forget it because it won’t work. Plus can it be so terrible to know what your partner is thinking and might be dreaming about, you could be amazed at what’s going on in her mind and how it can benefit you and your family in the future. While you’re together make sure it remains non sexual, touching and caressing is good, rubbing her feet, once again, being certain you don’t take it any further then a kiss on the head as you tell her you love her and suggest you should do this more often, because you really enjoyed just being together for special time and learning more each others needs.

Thank You Robin for this award for this post!

In reality women know men think about sex a lot, and that we reflect about intimacy and long for our partners to want to understand who we are in a non sexual way often dreaming that we could share our deepest thoughts and desires with our partners wondering how to make it happen, embarrassed it could seem like we’re weak and inadequate. Therefore when a woman senses her partner wants to know more about her, another level is achieved, which can enhance the sex which will take place at another time as the bond has strengthened and the intimacy shared in the past will drive the two closer during the sexual encounter.

Hence, if you want to improve and enhance the sex in your life, which we know can make or break a relationship, do some research on intimacy and follow through with your version of getting to know your partner without any expectations other then really learning more about the person you live with, and later, you decide if I’m not right and you don’t improve your sexual experiences and relationship, because you learned to share more of what the other needs; and remember it will be important to continue maintaining the intimacy times, which you might consider similar to the oil in the engine of your car keeping things moving smoothly, and the sex the gasoline to make it run, at the same time accomplishing victory with your partner while keeping those fires burring, really what harm can come from this or did I miss something, let me know what you think or even how it goes as you have that heart to heart with someone you love.

28 Comments »

Tabor said:

You are very intuitive in this post and I agree with you that intimacy is a valuable ingredient befor sex. When a partner is willing to listen and not ‘expect’ sexual activity the woman also begins to trust. For women trust is another key. (All those dippy romance novels involve lots of intimate talk!)

# 5 March 2010 at 7:24 am

Momisodes said:

This was a very interesting post. I couldn’t agree more that intimacy is a key facet to any marriage. It is certainly something that is ever-changing throughout a relationship too.

# 5 March 2010 at 8:44 pm

30 Ways to Boost Sex Drive | Oxytocin Nasal Spray said:

[...] Grammology.com » Blog Archive » Sex and intimacy with your partner, what about it [...]

# 5 March 2010 at 11:06 pm

Jen said:

It’s been so long since I had either one that I really don’t have much to add. It is good to remember that men and women think differently when it comes to sex. Men are more visual creatures who solve their problems by doing physical activity whereas women tend to think, analyze, think some more, talk with their girlfriends and then over think the whole thing. Middle ground is always a good thing.

# 6 March 2010 at 4:00 pm

Susie's Homemade said:

I have had both shallow and deep experiences and I have to say, the deep are waaaaay better and more fulfilling.

# 6 March 2010 at 4:48 pm

OldOldLady Of The Hills said:

I feel so very far away from all this, at this point in my life….I think you are very right about what you say and really cannot add anything to this conversation….One thing we all must never forget…Most men—not all—do have sex on their minds about 23 hours a day and not on intamacy! (lol)

# 6 March 2010 at 4:53 pm

karen said:

Very interesting blog and thanks for visiting mine. You are a very smart lady.

# 7 March 2010 at 12:13 am

Robin said:

Wow..this was soo beautifully said, Im going to cut and paste for future \revival\…I agree…and I delight in all of those things regularly..but often forget of its importance..this was a great reminder of the power of intimacy, and the meaningful connections it encourages. Thanks for stopping by and I am happy to have found this wonderful blog..!!

# 7 March 2010 at 12:52 pm

Robin said:

Hi Dorothy…I’ve made an award…and you are the first one who is getting it…I hope you enjoy it..!..come on over to grab it..!

# 7 March 2010 at 2:05 pm

One of The Guys said:

You are right on!! Guys have to understand, me included, that intimacy is much deeper and more involved than just sex.

Your suggestions are great. I’ll have to send some of the Guys over here to read your post!

Thanks for your enlightening words!

# 7 March 2010 at 3:16 pm

Egmont van Dyck said:

Greetings,

I think Jen pretty much hit the nail on the head.
However being a male, I can honestly say that I do crave intimacy. I also believe in physical closeness without sex.
Life without intimacy is life without feeling alive.

Warmest regards,
Egmont

PS: word verification: sacred much

# 7 March 2010 at 6:55 pm

meleah rebeccah said:

One of my biggest issues with my on again off again relationship was that I really felt like he never truly listened to me, or that what I had to say wasn’t important to him. And that definitely affected our intimacy level which in turn affected many other aspects of our relationship!

# 8 March 2010 at 2:29 pm

Denise@TogetherWeSave said:

Interesting post! My intimacy level with my spouse is suffering right now. I just don’t think I can ever go back.

# 8 March 2010 at 4:19 pm

BK said:

Great post! Being a guy, I need to understand about the important of intimacy which like One of The Guys said, ” …much deeper and more involved than just sex.” And when we are more connected, the latter will definitely turn out greater.

# 9 March 2010 at 1:16 am

Walter said:

Understanding each other is the key to reach a level of intimacy for both sexes. While men see sex as casual, they have to understand that sex is different in the perception of women. Men must understand that intimacy is what women are longing for from their partners and not just sex.

# 9 March 2010 at 8:42 pm

Donald Swarbrick said:

Men might always be thinking of sex, (well nearly always) but being intimate with the one you love cannot be beaten by lust.
Some men DO love their partners and get the same feelings of love and intimacy as women, when making TRUE love.

# 10 March 2010 at 3:11 am

askcherlock said:

Beautifully said. Intimacy in ways other than sex is so important and makes the bond between you stronger. A tender touch as you walk by or a sweet kiss just because…makes the sex even better.

# 10 March 2010 at 3:34 am

Blue Angel said:

Hi Dorothy

There is a saying that there is a fine line between love and hate, and I feel that the same applies to love and lust. I believe that a man in lust, can be just as intimate with his partner as a man in love. There are men that are attentive and caring, tender and very considerate lovers, and are more than willing to give the woman they are with(but not in love with) pleasure when making love to them, as they will benefit from that pleasure just as much as she. It’s long been a known fact that most men who are in a long relationship ,(married or otherwise) tend to just skip the foreplay and just want to get to the nitty gritty…yet these men profess their \love\ to the women that they are with. That to me is not love, it’s lust….with no intimacy..

# 10 March 2010 at 9:07 am

Chris B said:

So many people feel that those two ideas are the same thing! Intimacy is more a, “getting to know you,” type of activity and many guys find that intimidating. Because of this confusion (purposely or not) they insist that they have that “I” word in their relationship and it is hard to get past the blank in a relationship that is caused by the lack of understanding.

# 10 March 2010 at 11:50 am

Lisa (mommymystic) said:

This is a very intuitive and brave post, I think, and spot-on in my opinion. Intimacy is so important, and sexuality is such a part of this. I think it can become a never-ending cycle, when a woman doesn’t feel close to her partner and so doesn’t feel like having sex. Opening up the communication on this can solve so many issues.

# 10 March 2010 at 2:29 pm

workinghard said:

I agree that most women long for intimacy. There are a few women, that intimacy is difficult for them. They may long for the emotional connection but have been wounded so they don’t trust closeness. I wonder how large or small this population might be, among women.

Enjoyed your post. Thanks for the visit. Be well

# 13 March 2010 at 9:56 am