None of my family or friends let on as to how they must have felt when they looked at my face and into my eyes, instead their behavior indicated I was doing well and I would be just fine.  Thus, when you view these photos would you agree they had to believe otherwise, as I was diagnosed Ovarian Cancer stage 3b and I know what I’d be thinking if I was looking at someone who looked like me above  (I better spend as much time with her as I can because she looks pretty sick to me). 

 Therefore another reason for blogging, I had the opportunity to share my life with you and tell my story as it unfolded, it became part of my healing process giving me hope that you my blogging friends and readers would  pray for me think of me and send  well wishes which you did. Thus, you can imply or believe computers, websites, blogs and social media are a passing phase, although already time has proved it’s not so and the ability to self start with a blog as they become more user friendly, will continue to gain more popularity and followers along with the average person being able to put themselves on line, opening up the avenue for them to blog their hearts away and us to learn and support you.

 And this morning when I woke up and felt grateful for still being alive, and how wonderful it feels to share that with you, I once again wanted to say thank you to the world of blogging and may more of us be able to share of lives, past, present and future and I hope you enjoy my photos which scared the hell out of me.

Hence, what can one do when your convinced there is no hope of victory and you’re sure you can do better and have no idea of how because time is not on my side and the holidays are almost here and I’m not prepared, thus if you have any advise as to how I can calm down and not make matters worse by experiencing anxiety I’d like to hear your thoughts and give them a try.  I even pulled out the tapes that Debbie sent me when I was recovering from Cancer and Chemo treatments in 08 so I could relax while listening to her, Debbie’s site is www.http:/wisdomhypnosis.blogspot.com/ she works with all kinds of addictions, stress etc difficulties where hypnosis can have a positive affect on the issues, therefore stop by her site if your feeling apprehension (seems like it’s the season) and maybe she can help.

Tonight I’m going to play the tapes from Debbie and relearn how to relax because there is always good in life and I’m a positive thinker (my glass is always half full) however, we’re all human and when there is an occasion we sense restless feelings, we should determine a course of action to remove the triggers which we know deep down cause us unnecessary tension and pressure. Sometimes it’s as simple as learning to say no as I often find myself  battling my better judgment when  I say yes to someone or something I recognize in my heart I shouldn’t obligate myself too, realizing it will affect my life in a overwhelming manner.  Hence, I leave you with this thought, it’s not just you feeling anxious, it’s most of us, and I’m hopeful this will give you an idea of what you can do to relieve stress in your life if only by saying no or listening to a self help tape or video which will bring some peace to your fretful mind and I look forward to reading  your ideas because remember we are bloggers who share and care for each others well being and realizing we’re not alone can be a great support to achieving a healthy outlook throughout the holidays.

I’m looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving this week and I can’t remember when I was more geared up to relax and just take pleasure in visiting with my family and friends, we have a few things planned and it feels like just the right amount of places to be going and people who will visit our home no stress just looking forward to the weekend ahead.

So, I believe my peaceful viewpoint has a lot to do with how I’ve looked at life in the last few months as I’ve been reflecting a lot and I’m convinced I’m on the right track towards achieving inner peace and I have a great blogging friend Robin Easton from http://nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/ who’s been pondering death and I’m certain they are connected, inner peace and the acceptance of death when it’s time.  Now don’t go thinking I’m getting crazy, on the contrary, this January I’ll be cancer free for two years and I’m convinced I’m going to live to be a 100 and recognize life to its fullest therefore, on that notion, I want to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving and I hope each of you are able to reach inside your hearts and find the key to being content in your lives.  In fact I’m making my New Years resolution right now I will continue to seek peace and harmony and cast aside anything that isn’t healthy for my body and soul and I’m suggesting you do the same and I have some ideas as to how you can do the same in your life (to be continued).

Most of us think that if we are able to work and function on fewer hours of sleep rather then the recommended 8 hours we are doing better then the average person and it’s to be viewed as having macho, strong, courageous qualities when in reality there has been medical research which tells us sleep deficiency is unhealthy for the brain and the body and in some cases driving while being sleep deprived is as dangerous as drinking or doing drugs and you drive your car so imagine how you perform at work when you haven’t had a good night’s sleep as well.

Thus whether it’s a snooze in the afternoon or a quick nap when you come home from work (or if you live in some countries remember the Siesta) begin to focus on the importance of allowing your body to rest and recharge so you live a longer and healthier life because sleeping is as important to your body as the food and water you consume on a daily basis and if like tonight you find yourself unable to rest your mind and fall asleep, consider meditation to clear your brain in preparation of sleep by thinking positive and restful thoughts, focus on relaxing  if only for moments giving you time to settle down and reflect thus calming you and preparing yourself to sleep instead of laying awake thinking about what you can’t change allowing yourself to regain the peaceful serene emotions which permit you to fall asleep and  by practicing this method you will learn to relax and calm yourself which is also good for your mind and body and are a form of quiescent an inactive state of rest and quiet.

Many of us need to rethink the benefit of sleeping more and giving our bodies the time it needs to rebuild our energy levels and I know since I’ve had cancer I became committed to being aware of eating better, exercising, and yes sleeping more instead of believing if I could function on three or four hours of sleep I had to be something special.  Well in retrospect I was something out of the ordinary, and I think it was stupid because I’m feeling stronger and more energetic and I’m convinced my quality of life is improved when I’m able to sleep more giving my brain a chance to rest as well.  When I get up from a good nights sleep my whole perspective is different it’s like my mind has cleared and I’m ready to rock and roll so now that I’ve taken this time to tell you the importance of a good night’s sleep and I’m shutting down and allowing myself the rest I require so I’m able to work hard and play harder when I get home in view of the fact that I’ve given myself time to rejuvenate and refresh so how about you will you sleep well tonight?

Nighty  Night my friends….I’ll be back…

Life can often be filled with the good, bad, and the ugly and making a difference to you yes I said you, can only happen if you’re willing to admit what you expect in your world as there is no magic bullet and the old adage you can’t be loved until you find out how to love yourself applies to how you live and how much pleasure you can feel while existing in this cruel world.

Thus ask yourself what makes you feel good and think of the many things you haven’t done then formulate a plan if only in your mind as to how to live and feel the joy of a long walk or dinner with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile ask yourself who you are and maybe during that dinner or coffee you have, ask how they see you, listen to what they say and ascertain if it’s how you feel about yourself you might be surprised.  One of my blogging friends has a site for self esteem www.womensselfesteem.com click on the link and read some of her information because it really all begins with you and what you think of who you are and yes you have to approve of yourself before you can love and find true happiness and it  isn’t measured by how much money you make or  the material things you own, it’s that contentment you feel after along hard days work and the desire  to come home and experience peacefulness  be it a mansion or an apartment the opulence doesn’t make the feelings happen  appreciate you can only drive one car, sit on one chair at a time and feel good or bad about yourself no matter where you are.  Thus it’s time to ask are you are happy with your life and if not decide how to change it one step at a time, work towards achieving good feelings about yourself in order to experience the wonderful opportunities around you so go for it click on the blog above and see if you need to gather more confidence about you and do it because your in control and until you make the choice and begin the process life can seem pretty dismal and it doesn’t have to be that way so if it seems too simple to accomplish start by getting to like yourself and improving your own self esteem, what do you have to loose verses what you can gain that is unless you’d rather be unhappy in life then don’t bother.

Our mother was the queen of Clorox and we teased her about this every time we could because she even put a capful of Clorox in our bath water and I must admit I don’t remember having cold or flu too much while I was growing up therefore it makes me wonder if we should use more of those old time natural remedies because they are  better then the junk they sell from the pharmaceuticals companies who keep on getting richer and we keep pumping more chemicals in our bodies and manage illnesses while never really curing them.  Years ago I was told by an old doctor that the drug companies never want to find a cure because they’d be out of business they want you to require their medicine so you have to keeping buying them they stay rich and we keep spending, thus when I reflect it’s unsettling as I realize there are very few treatments which cure anything they relief symptoms and that’s it (is it possible the doc was right) I certainly hope not.  Are we destined to continue on this cycle of needing more drugs for our bodies to live longer and have we forgotten the simple things we can do to help reduce infections allowing our bodies to fight off  viruses and colds by using a little more Clorox in our life? We all know that Clorox can kill germs in garbage can tubs sinks and now the washer and dryer so do some homework and see where else we can use Clorox and reduce our chances of unwanted germs share what you find out here please.

Thus when I watched the Today show and they talked about the germs that can live in our washer and dryer I nearly tripped running into my washroom and pouring a third of a bottle of Clorox into my machine to run a cycle for sanitation and then I took Clorox wipes and washed everything within ten feet of the washer and dryer down with the scrubs.  I felt like my mom (bless her resting soul) was up in heaven laughing her heart out as we were relentless as kids  teasing her especially when she’d be wearing a shirt or pants with Clorox  white spots on them and now here was her oldest daughter acting  like her washing and polishing faster then a speeding bullet.  Thus if you can think Clorox  less germs may be your future saving you from needing those necessary yet annoying chemicals we continue to pump into our bodies all in the line of getting better.  Therefore we can begin to practice a little more preventative thinking and maybe save our bodies some simple virus contamination and infection in wounds we sustain while opening an envelope or biting our nails you know the drill. Oh Gotta go because I have a paper cut from yesterday and I forgot to soak it in warm salt water which mom would say was good for drawing out the soreness. So if you can offer any other old mom remedies do share them and let’s all start staying healthier with honey, chicken soup, salt water etc what you can remember please let us know because I’m feeling better already this tea I’m drinking with lemon and honey isn’t so bad.

Are you getting Vaccinated this year?

I received a flu shot in one arm yesterday and a pneumonia in the other and I’m been sleeping and feeling miserable ever since yesterday at 3 pm I can’t remember resting this much since my surgery and treatments for ovarian cancer in January 08.  I feel  awful and this was suppose to be a day I could do what ever I wanted maybe even walk the mall for nothing but window shopping and begin to think about the upcoming holidays oh well don’t they say “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” thus I should just be happy that as of 2:30 today, I’ve feeling a little better and let it go as now I’m protected against pneumonia, (which was a concern) and the normal flu and a little discomfort is worth the protection and I’m on the mend.

Therefore I was wondering if your going to get the flu shots and if older like me the shot for pneumonia although be prepared if you do, my arm hurt so badly I lost my range of motion, couldn’t lift it for awhile plus I’ve been taking Tylenol every six hours for the soreness which has subsided however I had no idea it could be so painful.  Have you had a similar experience with the shots and what were your symptoms and did you get any types of flu even after you took the vaccines, now I’m considering the H1 however I’m apprehensive of any possible complications after feeling so badly this weekend convinced I’ll the one who will have a another reaction. I received my shot from a nurse at my general parishioners office and she didn’t tell me anything regarding how I might feel and I can’t help but believe this couldn’t be just me and shouldn’t they give you some idea of what to expect, how long and what to do until it passes I felt blindsided and wished as with prescriptions you receive that little brochure telling you what to be expecting.

So let me know what your experience has been and if you’re going to take the shots again or why not, I’m undecided about the H1 however concerned especially for my younger grandchildren it seems as though this is one complex virus and I certainly hope we are able to get free of it soon although I don’t think they obviously know the negatives about the vaccine to date what have you heard?

It’s been a very frustrating week as nothing has gone the way I’d hope since I returned from vacation and I barely caught up on Friday as I left the office wondering what’s it all about this life I call mine as it’s never going where I planned and is often where I couldn’t have imagined at this time in my subsistence thus I wonder do you feel the same way and when you lie down in bed at night and try to close your eyes and not think about all the dumb choices you’ve made in your life and in its place think positive, good times, love and peace so you can go into slumber and have a pleasing sleep?  Well lately my slumbers are anything but satisfying I keep focusing on all the things I’d like to change and I wonder if you do the same thing when the lights are off and the only thoughts you have are the ones in your head, it’s your time and chance to have a great conversation with someone you know very well (me/you) and probably will agree with everything I think, yet by some means I seem to be filled with anxiety and fear that I won’t squeeze the rest of my life into the time I have left and I don’t agree with anything much I’ve done lately it’s like I’m on a train taking all the wrong turns and every time I attempt to change my path I miss and get lost again.  Could my feeling be normal do most of us go through  times in our lives worrying that it’s going by so quickly we’ll never get it all done and if so, what do you suggest to slow down the hands of time because not having it my way is beginning to irritate me. Interestingly enough though I also think it’s important for you to know even at age 63 having all my wisdom (hah) and experience (yaw right) I’m suppose to have that from time to time I could use a little advise myself.  

By the way no vacation pictures because David’s been off all week as he’s in distress with his back and the pain for him has been excruciating, therefore I’m wishing him relief  as anyone who has any kind of back issues knows when your hurting from degenerating back disease the horror and discomfort you experience is beyond description and he rarely, if ever, complains thus it has to be awful for him not to come to work for a week so get better David we miss you (I really miss you)  and I pray for a solution so you’re alright and never have to go through this again.

My Best…grammy

My hair is growing back and as you know; the PET scan came back clear of Cancer.  I can’t believe how good I feel emotionally.  It must be I didn’t realize how scared and depressed I was inside.  You get through the days and nights and quietly pray there will be more years to breathe life.

All right, I love life and heaven knows I wasn’t ready to let go, so when everything turned out great I felt the dark clouds around me peel away.  I sense I could begin enjoying living again.  This combined with the unusual feeling I had the other day regarding Karma makes me want to buy lottery tickets.  Which by the way the mega lottery is over 118 million dollars.  What would you do if you won the lottery?  I already have a plan…

This weekend was busy and last night we had Noah age five and Tracey Joe’s daughter.  We went to the zoo.  I’m not a zoo person however, this Cancer has changed me.  I really enjoyed seeing the kids get excited about the animals.  I was there for almost two hours with my husband and that’s unusual for me.  I suffer from Adult Attention Disorder and it’s hard on anyone around me.  I can’t seem to stay still for any period of time. When I was able to walk the zoo for that amount of time I was pleased and surprised.  See what thinking you could die does to you.  You step back, reorganize and change things in your life.

So when we leave on Monday for New Mexico to see Joe’s daughter graduate from Border Patrol I’m not taking my computer.  I’m going to take a lot of photos, and make notes.  I’ll work on enjoying the week while visiting friends and family in Arizona while I discover how to relax.  The camera should be able to capture some great pictures of the areas and me enjoying my time with my husband. 

Our page is seemingly easier to navigate thanks to David…and we’ll be doing more videos of me…I just love talking to you and coming soon is the Grammy videos for our children and grandchildren…  We have some great plans and a contest coming up with a wonderful prize.  (Stay tuned)

We’re hoping for some guest post relating to grammas and some of their experiences with grandchildren, along with photos.  So if you think your interested David should have the link up soon.

I’ll be sharing more about my granddaughter and how she’s doing with her pregnancy.  I’m hoping she’ll tell us what’s going on in her head and any advice she may want to share with us.  As I said, our family has all the makings of a good book and someday we’ll do it…  We don’t give advice we share life’s experience and hope you can read and no where to put up the road blocks…

See you the first week of September…please keep reading and  re subscribe; we lost  subscriptions  in the last few weeks when we changed pages and our site was hacked.

I have a new series coming and will finish answering my own questions when I return.  Living and loving my second chance at life…  Dorothy

Regarding the great news of my scan; I felt like I could resume my normal life for the first time in almost nine months.  It took a few days for me to figure out what was going on in my mind.  However, today I’m ready to move forward and do the many things I’ve not been able to do for months.

I’ll continue to pray that God will keep me healed and when I return I’ll have photos, and comments regarding our trip.  Our site is finally beginning to look like we hoped.  David is doing a phenomenal job and within the month we may be completely done with all the changes. 

We’ve lost a lot of subscribers during the page change and then when we were hacked.  So please consider subscribing again…..

I’ll be doing more videos when I return we have some great new ideas with the cam corder.  Kelly will be hosting recipes and Cathy will be posting herbs and health information for our readers.  We’ll also be looking for guest post, a place where you can give us articles you feel will add to our site and what we want to accomplish…

My partner Linda will be posting while I’m gone…she has some ideas and we hope you’ll give her some comments.  I’m glad I’m going however, so excited about our site can’t wait to get home as well.

I’m not taking my computer (Ugh)…I’m going to relax….

Hugs to all of you as Life Is Great……and again thanks for your support and prayers.

Dorothy