Many of you are probably wondering why I’ve shared so many of my personal feelings with you recently, I’ve been asking myself why as well.

First it’s helped me a lot, therefore selfishly I’ve told you things and as I do I always feel better.  I’m hoping that by knowing more about me personally it helps you understand where some of my thoughts come from; you get a chance to know who I really am.  And yes I think a lot has to do with my mortality because of my second occurrence of cancer since February 05, it’s really has me thinking about how much time I have left and what I can do while I’m still here.  I find myself thinking about being a wife, mother, grandma and friend praying I have many more years left to do all things bouncing around in my mind.

And tonight it’s 1:15 AM, and I’m up  I’m scheduled for a PET scan this morning and I can’t get it out of my head.  So here I am writing to you again hoping you care about what I’m struggling with this evening or I mean morning.   Thus I’m feeling better as I share my thoughts, witnesses you’re making me feel more relaxed already.

I can only guess that many of the psychologists recommend journaling during counseling and this is my way of getting therapy never having to leave my home plus I love it.  When you give me comments back it provides me with confidence and courage to write more which is what I always wanted to do.  I never thought I’d get the chance and here I am so please keep coming back so I can keep writing hoping you like my thoughts as much as me when I post them?

So tonight I’ll answer one of my previous questions I pondered.   Am I happily married?

I really gave this a lot of thought before I put the answer in writing, in this case on a personal blog but this provides me an opportunity to once again see who I am and think about what I can do to improve and work on the changing restless areas of my life. 

So it here it goes

I’m very happily married; my husband makes me crazy some days although I think it’s safe to say I do the same to him.  Accordingly I thought you might want to know a few reasons why I’m glad I married him.

We both are independent and allow each other our own space, he has his time without me and I do the same we rarely complain if one or the other needs breathing space…

He’s completely trustworthy and I would never have to worry about him cheating on me this was really imperative to me before I’d get married and he said it was very significant to him as well…

He is a loving father and grandfather always willing to sacrifice for the children and I felt the same way.  There is never an issue if any of the children need something if we can we do it.

He is a very sensitive husband, buys flowers, gifts and cards to the extent that I had to ask him to stop because I never cared about flowers or gifts (which by the way offended him) and we had to really work at understanding each others personality so he wasn’t hurt when I told the truth.

He’s always supportive with our home cleans, does laundry, shops, puts the groceries away and these are only some of the things he does there is no job in our home he won’t try.

We are always able to talk to each other and say what’s on our mind; he is my friend which I think is the basis of a good marriage.  During this past year it’s been an uphill battle with me and my cancer he’s been wonderful about everything I’ve needed him to do for me and it continues.

He loves my daughter and grandchildren as I love his daughters we merged as a family and there is absolutely no problem with his family or X wife, we work together looking out for the other’s needs.

Staying married is not easy today there is pressure on many fronts and work towards staying connected and happy which takes effort and dedication.  It’s not a perfect marriage far from it however I think (speaking for both of us) we approach any new quandary as they happen and remain focused until the concern is resolved.

When you take a marriage for granted it becomes susceptible to failure staying married is high maintenance, I know this as it’s my third and hopefully final marriage.  Staying satisfied takes constant effort and focus from both parties to be successful Joe and I try to tell each other when things seem apprehensive.  To pretend it’s always a great day in our home would be ridiculous however we’ve made this commitment and have learned from our past we’ve made it through seven years and I hope we make another 27 years more. 

However, both have to be willing to continue the work it takes to withstand all that humankind can give us I’m convinced it’s really important to tell what’s in your heart, not when you’re mad however when you’re calm and able to really say what you’re thinking.  When we fight we lash out and say things we might not even mean so before you begin to spill your heart out make sure your calm and it’s what you really believe.  Think before you tell your spouse thoughts you’ve been harboring and always allow him the same amount of time you needed.  Share the conversation don’t make it just about you and by the way marrying someone who won’t share their feelings is probably not going to produce a strong marriage.  It’s two people who get married and two people who need equal everything.  Here’s hoping you agree and that hearing a grandmother’s feelings helps give you something more to think about and know you’re not alone. Even old ladies have questions about life.

Share your Comments please…..

I’ll be back…Dorothy