Women and their friends

Watching the movie The Women with Meg Ryan was a pleasure as the innocence in the part that Meg Ryan played was refreshing as she encountered her husband wanting a divorce while she thought they had a wonderful marriage. There was friendship, betrayal and in the end forgiveness, and the everlasting alliance that will often have to endure the storms in order to survive the old saying “friends for life”. A new expression “keep it in the vault” became a future phrase for me as I often share information or thoughts with my friends that I expect will never be shared no matter what the agony they experience, like a crypt, the secret is safe therefore now I use the adage with my friends and keep in mind they often last longer then marriages with the statistics boosting high divorce rates among us.

I’m pleased to boast I have a few of those friendships and through it there have been times where my friends and I decided we’d not talk for awhile as each of our personalities began to wear down the strong bonds we’d shared for many years, which often happens to friendships and we’d give each other space in order to continue the relationship we loved for so many years when things quiet down. And inevitably it does calm down and we move forward and realize we made it through another hurdle and our camaraderie continues stronger, and better then before with each of us learning more about life and ourselves. Thus, seeing the movie which focuses more on friends then marriage I watched it all and decided I’d see it again, as I realized there was a great deal of reality in this fun loving, movie about women and their lives, so see it on HBO or rent it on a pay per view, it’s worth the time and you’ll learn something in the process about the importance of Women and their need for friendship. And if it seems like I’m brushing over marriage and divorce for this post I am, although I’ll be back with my thoughts on exoneration in a marriage when there is adultery, and how I suggest it should be handled I hope you can’t wait to hear what I’m thinking.

Women and Intimacy with their partners

Describing intimacy versus sex is a sensitive subject for men and women not because anyone’s embarrassed, women understand it and secretly regret they don’t have it in their marriage or relationship, men think it’s sex want it all the time, and fail to realize both are a necessary in order to satisfy their partners. Therefore, to help both sexes recognize the difference between getting laid and having an intimate encounter made me decide to share some thoughts I had regarding this subject.

Intimacy is having a close relationship, sharing quiet times getting to know each other and what goes on in your head by asking questions and listening to what each has to say, remembering the conversations for another time and asking her how things are did she have any other thoughts from the last occasion you spoke, thus it’s almost like homework and a future test, because if you don’t listen and commit those words to your memory, forget it because it won’t work. Plus can it be so terrible to know what your partner is thinking and might be dreaming about, you could be amazed at what’s going on in her mind and how it can benefit you and your family in the future. While you’re together make sure it remains non sexual, touching and caressing is good, rubbing her feet, once again, being certain you don’t take it any further then a kiss on the head as you tell her you love her and suggest you should do this more often, because you really enjoyed just being together for special time and learning more each others needs.

Thank You Robin for this award for this post!

In reality women know men think about sex a lot, and that we reflect about intimacy and long for our partners to want to understand who we are in a non sexual way often dreaming that we could share our deepest thoughts and desires with our partners wondering how to make it happen, embarrassed it could seem like we’re weak and inadequate. Read the rest of this entry »

I watch television with a heavy heart as the news is covering what might be the discovery of the body of the young girl who went missing while innocently jogging near her home in San Diego. I was heartsick this morning when I watched her devastated parents and my heart aches for them. Losing a child to illness or an accident is unthinkable, the pain is unimaginable. Losing a child to violence in this way is beyond comprehension. I feel puzzled, sad and downright angry and outraged because the suspect is a registered sex offender who has a history of raping a child in this very neighborhood. Why is this person even allowed to exist free in our neighborhoods EVER? How do we even begin to understand this?? What is our system good for if we cannot keep our young people safe?? How can we have KNOWN sex offenders living in neighborhoods unchecked as in this case where there were other mysterious attacks and missing young girls right in this same area? Today, I also read about the young girl who was killed after living in an abusive household and being checked by Social Services. How do we even begin to understand how this can happen? This is an outrage that these kinds of atrocities occur in our country while our system does nothing to protect our most vulnerable. Where does it end and what can we do about it? How do you feel about this, I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

At SeaWorld this week, Dawn Brancheau, a 40-year-old orca trainer, was pulled underwater by a 12,000-pound killer whale in front of an audience during a show. It turns out that this whale was involved in two other deaths in the past. This makes me so sad and makes me wonder, why does it seem that the right choices are not made in our world today because making money is all important?

Did the operators think about the luster of money coming in more than the safety of this young woman? Did sensationalism overrule safety and good judgement? No doubt, this trainer did this for the love of it. Didn’t she have the right to know that the park owners were ensuring her safety? This young woman is gone, her family broken by her death…all because the right choices were not made. I am not a fan of big government, but I thank God for laws that protect people from the decisions that are made to put them in harm’s way because of greed. Should this orca have been allowed to be used for entertainment after being involved in these other death’s? How do you feel?

So, what’s up?

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted on our site, I wouldn’t call it writers block, I’d say there’s been too much going on in my life and I can’t decide what to write about, I’ve started about ten different posts and none of them made me happy so I deleted them and turned off the computer thus, today I’m making this short to say I’m here and will write something important soon in the meantime here’s some of things I’ve been doing while not writing on our blog.

My husband and I have been watching the Olympics and I’m so impressed with their dedication and commitment to the sport when it takes so much to even get to the Olympics, I know I could never be so dedicated and willing to give up so much of my life thus, every athletes story and every contestant deserves all of our appreciation we can give them and when they leave I wish them continued success and recognition for their next endeavor.

Today was our company breakfast (my day job) I dread having to attend and then when it’s over, I’m glad I went and always take something good from the experience and I’m able to visit with the other sales associates I otherwise don’t get to talk too because our company has 300 sales people in different locations.

And this afternoon we’re going to relax and watch pay per view movies our first, Demi Moore “Happy Tears” I’ll let you know what I think, meanwhile wishing you a great weekend, tomorrow I go to a Yoga class for the first time in over two years and I’m really excited as I need some exercise structure, hope I can remember something from the last time so I’m able to keep up with the instructor and not feel foolish.

I’ll be back……

For the Love of Family

How often do we say I wish I had spent more time with my family and then another week or month pass by and you think again, no this time I’m going to do it and you never do.

Thus, the story of our lives, we move on do our thing and time passes and you never do what’s really important to you, instead you tread water and get through the days, weeks, months, and yes sometimes years without taking that time to interact with family. Therefore tomorrow will be different because I’ve made plans to have my family make the commitment to come to our home and share dinner because, in my heart I hold my siblings close to my soul, as I know if I need them, even if we haven’t spoken in weeks they will be there to do whatever it is I need to get through life. And since we’ve not spent as much time together as we should it’s no excuse not to change that right now, so I got on the phone and asked them to take the time and come here to just be together and they said yes.

Although my sister is feeling down lately she hesitated thinking she’d be bad company and I admit it I used our mom as an example of what she’d think about seeing us together (from heaven) as a family, something our mother adored more then life itself as she came from the stock which thought family was more important then anything in you life. You could live in a barn or under a tent and if you loved and respected your family and kept them close you had everything the world could give you so tomorrow in honor of our mother we will dine together and enjoy each other’s company, talk, share life good or bad, because that’s what family is supposed to do. So if you can plan a time with your family and live life to it’s fullest because it’s not about how much you have or what you make it’s about sharing with those you love, those who will miss you when your not here, and those who will be there when you need them.

I plopped down on the sofa to watch the evening news. I’d been in meetings all day and was not up to speed on the day’s happenings when the story came on about an Olympic athlete and the luge. They were talking about the fact that he died, the news was shocking to me. But what shocked me to the point of disbelief was the footage that immediately followed of the young athlete, Nodar Kumaritashvili. The footage showed him rounding the corner of the luge and then the entire video of this young man’s death was there on network news including the aftermath of his bloody, lifeless body in closeup! To make matters worse, they then played it in SLOW MOTION, a young man’s DEATH in slow motion on NBC network news!

The following day, my little nephew came to my house for dinner and was chatting about the Olympics. He is only 6 but he loves watching the Olympics and talked incessantly about the skaters and the skiers and then he picked up the newspaper from the table and told me that someone died in the Olympics and that he saw it. Yes, he was watching television with his Grandma the day before when the network news ran the sickening footage without warning and my 6-year-old nephew watched before his Grandma understood what was happening quickly enough to change the channel.

You tube videos of a young man being beaten to death, online videos of horrible, violent incidents…now this on NETWORK TELEVISION. How far is too far?

Larry King did a story about it and announced that out of respect for the family and viewers, he would not be showing the footage of the crash. Is this kind of respectful journalism a dying art? Is our need to know becoming insatiable? Is our desire for “transparency” a good thing or a bad one? I’d love your opinions.

Are you really here forever?

Every time, I see the commercial for selling expensive jewelry or Hallmark Cards, where the man looks into the eyes of his lover and says I’ll be here forever, I wonder is it true or do the new statistics reflect relationships don’t last as long as we think. The words seem to fit when we say them, and then we grow apart heading in different directions and after five or ten years the breakups are not always nice and most of the time it’s the kids who really suffer, broken homes, terrible feelings and the winners seem to be the lawyers.

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 A friend of mine casually mentioned the other day that she was using speedating, a website, to “date.” You get a few minutes to “meet” the other person, on camera. You then decide to meet them or not.

Simple, quick, easy. No commitments. No embarassment. Little risk.

Another friend of mine met her husband-to-be on a web dating site and yet another met his girlfriend (it’s now very serious) on a web dating site.

And then at lunch yet ANOTHER friend told me SHE was using an online dating service!

It used to be that you’d be embarassed to use a dating service. Now thanks to Facebook and social media, the taboo is GONE. What has happened? Why? And is dating via the internet a good thing or a bad thing?

Sounds like it’s mostly good, right? Especially if these cases I mentioned are any indication. I’d love to hear some comments.

I first dated my husband when I was in high school and we didn’t reconnect for more than 20 years. I remember meeting him as a teenager. He used to lean against a wall outside the cafeteria and watch me secretly out of the corner of his eye. Like I didnt’ know. Like my temperature didn’t rise a few degrees just at the sight of him. Like I couldn’t practically FEEL his glances at me turn into a laser-hot stare when I turned my back!

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I looked at my before and after photo from January of 2008 when I was in the depth of chemo for my Ovarian Cancer and I was horrified at the pictures, I was sure it wasn’t me, how could I look that scary and sick and at the time and not realize what condition I was in?

  None of my family or friends let on as to how they must have felt when they looked at my face and into my eyes, instead their behavior indicated I was doing well and I would be just fine.  Thus, when you view these photos would you agree they had to believe otherwise, as I was diagnosed Ovarian Cancer stage 3b and I know what I’d be thinking if I was looking at someone who looked like me above  (I better spend as much time with her as I can because she looks pretty sick to me).  Read the rest of this entry »